CLUNK!

The so-called "Cash for Clunkers" program "has worked better than any other stimulus program that was conceived," crows Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood ungrammatically.

And he's right. It is better, if your goal is to blindly spend Federal tax dollars as fast as you can. After all, it is now many months later and only about 10% of the $787 billion money appropriated by the Democratic whiz kids in Washington has been spent. The $1 billion allocated for Cash for Clunkers took about a week to disburse.

But if your goal is to spend the taxpayers money responsibly, then Cash for Clunkers is just another disaster in a long line of disasters. In the first place, the goal of the program is to reduce America's dependence on oil by encouraging people to trade in their older, low mileage vehicles for higher mileage cars. But as I have pointed out time and time again to friend and foe alike, higher mileage cars reduce the effective cost of gasoline and lead to an increase in gas usage.

Having endured many derisive smiles and dismissive shrugs before, I am going to say it again a bit stronger, so that perhaps the point will sink in: in all times and places, under every economic and cultural scenario, to the extent higher mileage cars replace lower mileage cars in an economy, usage of gasoline always increases more than it otherwise would have.

Therefore, one week out of the box, and using only Obama's stated goal for the program, the Cash for Clunkers program is already an abysmal failure and an utter waste of $1 billion in taxpayer funds.

The Clunkers program was also supposed to induce much needed consumer spending and shore up the faltering auto industry with increased sales. It does this, but only in that slight of hand way that only government can do. What's the difference between government giving GM and Chrysler $1 billion in exchange for preferred shares of stock and $1 billion under the Clunkers program? Under the Clunkers program, taxpayers get nothing for their money - Zip, Zero, Nada. In other words, Clunkers is just a pure gift to the auto companies after we have already bailed them out to the tune of billions. It's also a gift of taxpayer funds to a small number of fortunate citizens. But since it is only a one time gift it gives no incentive to auto makers or dealers to expand production or hire new people, will not lead consumers out of their current savings binge and will not stimulate the economy in any other conceivable way, no matter how ingenious the talking points dreamed up by the Washington whiz kids.

Wait a second, you say, what about the clunkers turned in by consumers? They are worth the $4,500.00 or so per vehicle spent by the government, are they not? So, the Clunkers money is not just lost, it has gone to purchase viable assets, assets that could be sold by the government or car dealers down the road, which would increase sales, the economy, jobs and GDP. In other words, you budding economists would say, the Clunkers money would stimulate the economy as the initial $4,500.00 per vehicle is cycled again and again through future sales and re-sales.

Well, you obviously have not heard about the really stupid part of the Clunkers program. The clunkers traded in exchange for the Clunkers Federal money will be scrapped, dismantled and melted down, so that not even the parts will be available for resale. That's right, your taxpayer dollars are going to purchase perfectly good cars that will then be destroyed. In one week, "poof!" went $1 billion of your money.

And since no one has ever thought of such a thing before, this will create a new, if short-lived, job-category: EPA approved car destruction experts. Ever heard the phrase "tossing money down a rathole?" Clunkers is a program that creates the rathole - a used car destruction system - so that it will have a big enough rathole for all the billions it needs to spend.

This is all a bit of insanity only the ideologues in Washington could come up with.